Looking into the FAR future

Currently, I work for a title company as a receptionist which calls for quite some time for me. Okay, that's a lie, I am always by myself and that gets me into trouble. I read all sorts of articles online and decide what the world is like from there, hoping one day I will actually be able to experience it for myself, but for now I will just pretend and imagine. Recently through my readings (most of the articles I find are through good ol' facebook) I have found so many great reads! Today, I found one by Brianne McDonald called, 'I don't want to protect my daughter. I want to prepare her.' Now, I obviously don't have a daughter but there was a section in there that totally struck me. Growing up and getting married, you really have to decide a lot of things that will absolutely affect you whether it be a good or a bad thing. As I struggle through trials that have been handed to me, stress blocks that have been placed right before my feet, I noticed that it has always been with the help of my Heavenly Father that I get back on track. I have learned so much through out the past few years and how grateful I am for those times in my life to help me become who I am today. The section in there that I will share shortly is the kind of mom I want to be in the future. She put it in words that almost literally made me cry (but that's only because I am on an emotional roller coaster due to the big W word) and here it is.

"I refuse to hold her hand through everything, but I will always be there. I’ll be just behind her to catch her when she stumbles; I’ll be there when she needs a supportive push or an understanding smile with a nod of encouragement. That’s me, I’m the woman on the sidelines, offering advice, guidance and support, but ultimately they are her steps. They will be her choices, ones that she will have to live with and that I won’t be able to change or make for her. My ‘job’ is to help ensure that she knows which direction to walk in and that she is prepared to handle whatever life throws at her along the way."

With my own experience, I want to be this mom. I want my kids to be proud of who their mother is and to look up to me.  I want to cherish my kids more than anything and both Landon and I have goals for that. Reading this article really put me in a spot where I can start forming and preparing to become that mom or I can continue as I am and get a hit in the face when the time comes. We have about three to five years to start preparing, but the time is now. To prepare now and become the wife, and soon to be mother, that I have always dreamed of being.

our little house

We moved me into our little apartment and can I just tell you, I cannot wait for my new roommate! He is such a stud! We have finally got all of our boxes unpacked... cut us some slack, moving and planning a wedding is rough. We have a few things on the wall but waiting for after our wedding to fully finish our house. Let me tell you about the place..

A basement apartment placed in the heart of one of my favorite towns. It's super old and vintage but I am crazy about it. I love all it's corks and weird things that are going on! I love how the closet doors stick because the paint is almost too thick, the vents that you twist open, the old fridge with no light and the tile floors through out the whole place. Now, like I said, we are still working on it, but here it is some excitement for the night we began to move my stuff in. I was in the kitchen and Landon was setting up the big and heavy stuff and hooking it all up. He was unscrewing the outlet for our dryer and the screw fell down and blew a fuse. I was in the kitchen when I heard him, "Ah!", a loud pop! Then I heard a big noise of the power shutting off. It all happened so fast. I paused and yelled, "What did you do!?" He was in shock and said nothing, I ran into where he was and asked, "Are you okay?" He then proceeded to tell me that, "..and then this screw fell and hit a live wire and it exploded and smoke came out!" Holding up this stupid little screw that was now, pitch black. Thank my lucky stars that it was just a fuse and that Landon was okay. We seriously have some of the 'best' luck. We left, due do no light and it being 9:30. I woke up with the Flu and we moved.... LANDON moved the rest of our stuff with the help of Parker and his brother K.C and his wife X. We have the worst luck, we really do, but from it, we see so many blessings and continue to learn and grow. Can't wait for our wedding. It's soo far away!

bridal shower #1

I had my very first bridal shower and can I just say, I am so blessed and filled with gratitude for those who came to support me. Amazing! I had my mom there, sisters, cousins and aunts! I had ward friends there, co-workers, neighbor friends and a few more friends. I took a minute to myself and just looked around at all those who came with love just pouring out to Landon and I. Could not, Could NOT be more grateful for those who were able to come and spend time with me as we celebrated a new journey for me. Towards the end of the shower, Landon made a stop by and helped with carrying everything to my car to bring to our new apartment. When we got there, I told him to sit on the couch then I would show him all of the gifts we were showered with. We are so excited for this new journey ahead and can't stop counting down until then!

Again, thank you all for your love and support. You honestly do not know how much I truly appreciate it.

it's that time again - salt lake bee's!

Landon took me on our first date to a Salt Lake Bee's game. He said it was a surprise but I figured it out before we got there. I am starting to enjoy going to the games more and each game, I learn a little bit more. Last night we were able to take a break from all the wedding planning and unpacking and stress of a new {almost} married life and head down to the Smith's Ball Park and watch the Bee's play against California Fresno. We lost, but it's okay. Landon knows that I love cotton candy so he bought me some! We enjoyed watching all the people and spending time with one another to talk about all that we needed to and wanted to. It seriously is so easy being me with him... and I love it. I love him! Side note: He has played baseball growing up, so I am learning to love the sport and understand the rules, for our kiddies might be playing it one day!

HaPPY BaSeBaLL SeaSoN!

never make me go back

I LOVE that I am no longer in high school.
Today, I sat in the Sonic drive-thru waiting for my black berry slushy, which I highly recommend. It's a delish cool treat! Seriously. After you read this post, hop down to the closest Sonic and reward yourself. You deserve it! Anyway, a little commercializing for the Sonic.
I pulled up behind a car that was ordering with a teenager standing outside of it ordering her meal. I chuckled. Then, as the people in the car drove up to pick up their food, she struggled along behind them walking how "cool teens do" Then I rolled my eyes. I was trying to understand and put myself in their shoes, sure they are having fun during their lunch break, but you would NEVER have caught me doing dumb stuff like this. I find no humor in it and that's okay. Maybe I am just a boring person but I just sit and think, "They're ridiculous." The poor Sonic boy, luckily not on skates, came out to their window and took all sorts of forms of money. From jingle-jangle change to credit and debit cards to the green paper cash. It was being thrown at him and coming from all different angles. I was so annoyed and angered at these teenagers. I was raised to be polite to everyone and anyone. Even people I didn't like, my mom always told me, "You don't have to be their best friend but at least be their friend." I NEVER disrespected workers or people and if I did, it was not intentional. A different worker came out to my car, super friendly and helped my annoyed attitude, took my card and went back inside. As I sat there, I thought, 'I am going to take a picture and send this to Landon' so I reached up and realized that the boy opening his door got out not to open the girl who "walked through the drive- thru's" door but to open the trunk and pack her in. I took the picture and the boy turned and caught me red handed but I tried to play it cool. He said, "Hey guys, she's trying to take picture! ha! That girl is really trying to take a picture of us!" I was half tempted to yell out my window and say, "No, not trying, I actually got one!" But I didn't I got my card from the super nice Sonic kid and drove away. I was so annoyed by these kids and just so appalled by their actions. I guess I have matured a lot since my high school days, but I really believe that I would not have acted the way this group of kids did. Freaky things happen and what if they got hit? The poor girl in the trunk wouldn't stand a chance.
Anyway, I just am so thankful that I am through that part of life. I hated high school and they reminded me how lucky I am! I know that paying bills and working everyday might not be the best and most fun, but I enjoy what I do and who I work with. I love going home to my handsome fiance (he doesn't live there... well, kind of he just has everything there but doesn't sleep over.. yet. but in 35 days you bet he'll be there all night long! This is all beside the point...) I am thankful that I own my own car and that I don't have to ask mommy and daddy if I can borrow it till my curfew but that I can just get in, drive and get home when I want. I love being an adult, so many people complain about it, but I wouldn't ever want my high school days back. I love my life and I love where the crazy road has taken me! Minus getting caught red handed while taking a creepy picture of some complete strangers... where was Landon when I needed him, he's the best at stalking pictures. Oh well, it's a good laugh now!

So that I am finally finished ranting, head down to Sonic and enjoy a nice cool slushy on such a nice day like today. Hopefully your visit won't be as terrible as mine was. Usually, they are never bad and the customer service is great!

he is a pick'her' upper

Lately, I have been calling Landon in tears or just utterly distraught from all the pain and stress that I have been feeling for the last little bit. It's not like once in a blue moon.. it's more like once in an... everyday. I have said it before and I will say it again, as I hit rock bottom it's like he is there to catch me so I don't completely crumble to pieces. He is my pick me up! Today, I call him and our conversation didn't end too well due to the fact that I am so darn stubborn. I hung up on him because I didn't want him proving that he was right, I just wanted to be heard and I didn't want a peep out of him, which is rare because he always gives the best advice and tells me the funniest things to get me out of the blues.. but not today. I was grumpy and anything he said I threw it away. I cooled off a bit and called him back to be mad and tell him I am always right. He turned the conversation on me and let me tell him everything I wanted to. I told him of the stress I was feeling and the tears I had been shedding for the past hour at my desk trying to figure out how to glue the pieces together. I could hear the smile through his voice as he brought me to a point where I had the patience to listen to him. He told me he loved me and couldn't wait to see me tonight, like always and told me, "don't worry" which if anyone else were to tell me that, I role my eyes and sigh, but with him, I don't worry. He has a way to get me from the lowest of lows to my absolute highest. As I fiddle on my computer and blog, I recieve an e-mail. Not a text but an e-mail labeled, "I love you"
He writes me the cutest e-mail about the reasons he loves me.

And this my friends is why I am marrying him in 40 days. 

This is why I have chosen HIM to be my husband forever 

and this is the reason why he will be the amazing father to our kids. 

This is Landon and he has the most precious heart.

the gospel is in us!

For some reason, the Gospel has really been in us the last week. I am thinking it's because we have been praying all the time for comfort and safety with all that has been going on, but I love it! The Gospel has so much to offer and is such a wonderful thing. Landon gave me a blessing on Friday when I was sick and what an amazing man he is, to be able to hold the Priesthood and become so close with our Father in Heaven. I love seeing the missionary in him and him using the priesthood. I know that he is going to be such an awesome dad someday and I can't wait for him to give our children such humble and meaningful blessings. Yesterday, we were able to go to the temple and can I just say, WOW! awe.some. Such an incredible feeling being there with him. I have never been with another boy before so it was a lot of fun to go with him, my eternal companion. As we sat in the chapel I giggled because I was just so happy being there with him. I held his hand and just wanted to show everyone how great it is to be loved. I thought about our wedding the entire time and how perfect it's going to be. I honestly couldn't stop smiling. When we got up to walk to the font, a stream of tears filled my eyes and a warm feeling overcame my body. As I met my best friend in the middle by the stairs I couldn't help but know that this was right. He is the right one and we are doing what is right. I wouldn't doubt him or our plan for a second. HE IS THE ONE! He got in the font first and then turned to help me down the stairs and that is when my uncontrollable smile came. It was so exciting and I would do it everyday all over. I can't emphasize to you how great this experience was and how perfect it seemed. Landon did an awesome job at the confirmations as well as the baptisms. I am grateful for the Temple and the work it gives us to do for those who need it. I am so thankful to have been with Landon through such an astounding moment for me. I can't tell you enough how much I love him and am grateful to be apart of Heavenly Fathers plan. The church is true and I believe in God! 

what an adventure!

We finally got to sign our papers and move in! Yay! But let me tell you this, what an adventure it was!
We signed on Thursday evening and packed a trailer filled with boxes that Landon and I could easily manage by ourselves and got busy! Trailers suck! (I just had to throw that in there) But Landon did such an awesome job and was so patient with it. I was very proud of him. After the trailer was empty, Landon started to hook up the dryer and I started cleaning things up to prepare for our stuff. All of the sudden I heard a drop, Landon yell and then a loud noise that surrounded the entire house as the electricity got blown. I yelled at Landon, "what did you do!?" I got my phone for it's flash light and ran to make sure that Landon was okay. He was very frustrated and upset that he had blown the fuse. We did all we could to get the power back on but we just weren't having any luck so we packed up our few things to leave and called our landlord. Her brother said he would meet us tomorrow and he could fix the problem. Exhausted from the move and stress, we both agreed to leave, because that's all we really could do and go back to his house to watch tv for a bit.

On Friday, I woke up sick to my stomach, I caught the flu! We were so excited to move everything that night but I knew that there was no way that I could. The flu drained me, literally made me weak everywhere and so I ended up staying in bed. Landon had a friend, Parker, come help us move and to meet Bob at the house to fix the electric problem. Even though I was sick in bed and so helpless, Landon still managed to make me feel like 100 grand and that I would be better by the next day. He got me soup and Gatorade and all the other things I asked for. He seriously deserves a ribbon.

Saturday morning, I woke up feeling a little bit better than the night before so I got up and took a shower thinking it would cure me and of course it didn't, but I did feel a little bit better. Landon and his family invited me to go out to breakfast with them but I couldn't stand the thought of eggs and ham in my stomach, right now, I could go for that... anyway, so I stayed at home and tried to sleep and get as much rest as I could because I knew that we needed to get the rest of our stuff moved over and that I needed to help. With the help of KC, Landons brother and X, sister in law, we moved the last of our belongings and finally started setting up. The harder we worked the more tiring it got and exhausted I was, so I quit. We stopped and laid down for a bit till it was time for him to go home.

Sunday, we went to church and got our temple recommends renewed! We are so excited to be going to the temple tomorrow! We came back to my apartment to empty some more boxes and hang out. We finally made progress and we are so excited! Little by little we are getting more things set up. It has been one heck of a weekend but it's been all so worth it. Landon, I am sure you won't see this but I just couldn't live without him. He is such a strong human being and I love him with my whole heart. We keep unpacking boxes and are making it more of our home than just some place and I am so excited for him to move in and share it all with me in just a little over a month. I will post pictures soon, if I ever blog on my computer that has the pictures on it, but I will do my best. Sorry for the long post, but it's news!